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  • Writer's pictureVasti C.

No one is available...

If you are single in 2020 this seems to be the thread in today's world for singles. No one is available. Now, I don't mean availability as far as a schedule goes. I mean no one seems to be truly emotionally available. I mean we have all heard it. I am single but I am just getting out of a relationship and when you continue to keep digging you find out that they are actually still very much attached to that relationship and they are looking for someone to pass time with. Then you also have had the person that is separated or going through a divorce that isn't 100% honest and once you are involved with them things just do not seem to add up. Then you have the person that is just out to have a good time but is telling you that they are available and when you ask them if they are as into you as you are into them they end with "Well, we are just having fun." I don't know about you and where you are in your current state but I am not looking for just "fun" that usually ends up with a broken heart and you setting yourself up for all kinds of disappointment in the end. Your heart should not be a "FUN" area for anyone to play with and lead you on.  When you are actively dating they are a few things that I would like to think that people should take into consideration before putting themselves out there in the search of love. 

Here are a list of things to help you as you are swiping, booming, and connecting with folks in your search for a relationship: 

1. Make sure you are 100% available. Available means you are done with old relationships. No loose ends. You are in a good place to meet someone and see where it can grow potentially.  Keyword here is GROW. If you are not growing with that person you are wasting your time. 

2. Go into it with no expectations. You have to give everyone a fair chance until they prove other wise. Do not assume that after one date this is your person. Slow and steady my friend...slow and steady. If you do not have expectations you will not set yourself up for disappointment. 

3. BE HONEST...keep it 100 with the person. Tell them what you are looking for and what you are NOT looking for. So many people start dating and realize six months into it that this is not what they wanted all along.  Honesty is key.

4. Stringing someone along or being strung along is never good. You need to learn how to walk away when the person is not connecting with you. I get the whole "I feel bad because they are so sweet" etc... but I am here to tell you that NOPE end it sooner than later. They will be just fine. 

Finally, I leave you with this last nugget. Dating is NEVER grey. Dating is ALWAYS black and white. Do me a favor and do not stay with someone out of obligation. Do not stay with someone because they buy you nice things. Do not stay with someone that is not kind to you. Do not stay with someone that does not prioritize you. Your time is precious. You can not afford to just give it away to someone who is NOT available.  If you are working on yourself becoming the best available version of you then why would you just give yourself and time to someone that is just not sure. You deserve assurance. You deserve respect. Most of all you deserve someone investing in you. You are worth it and so much more! 

Make sure to check out Healthy Heart Talks podcast to continue to work on your emotional health. 



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